The following excerpt is summarized and translated from Ahkaam-e Zindagee, pages 134-139 by Shaykh Muhammad Fallah Zadeh. The rules are based on the legal opinions of various maraaji.
Among the most important Islamic duties is to pay attention to the situation of education and upbringing of children, and ensuring their spiritual development and perfection. In this regard, the father and mother have a very weighty and delicate responsibility to assist their children.
Learning
– Reading, teaching, writing, keeping, and even buying and selling books of deviation is impermissible, except when the goal in doing so is valid; for example, when it is done as a means of replying to objections.
– Giving a Qur’an to a child for the purpose of learning is permissible, even though it is known that the child will touch the Qur’anic script without wudhu.
Upbringing
– It is necessary for the guardian of a child to protect the child from that which would cause his / her akhlaaq to be corrupted or his / her beliefs to be harmed.
– It is permissible for parents, as a means of training their children, to assign them household chores without paying them for their work.
Protecting the Reputation of Children
– Doing gheebah of a mumayyiz (discerning) child for those who are mukallaf (have reached the age of assuming Islamic responsibilities) is not permissible.
– If a discerning child says salaam to someone, according to precaution it is necessary to respond to the salaam.
– Except under special circumstances, it is makrooh to favor one child over another when giving gifts.
Worship of Children
– The worship of a discerning child – when it is performed correctly – is acceptable and correct according to Islamic law.
– It is mustahab to train a discerning child to perform all acts of worship.*
– It is good for a parent to wake his child for salah, unless due to sickness or another excuse, doing so would cause trouble and torment to the child.
– If not waking up [baligh] family members for salah would lead to negligence and indifference towards salah, it is necessary to wake them.
– The rules for the salah of a non-baligh boy are the same as that of a man, and the rules for the salah of a non-baligh girl are the same as that of a lady. For example, the same way that men need to recite the surahs of the Fajr, Maghrib, and ‘Isha prayer with a voice [and not as a whisper], a non-baligh boy needs to do the same [when reciting the prayer as furādā].
– The clothing of a non-baligh girl during the salah is the same as that of a baligh woman, except that covering her head and neck is not necessary.
– It is mustahab that a non-baligh girl’s hair be covered in salah.
* The Ahlul Bayt (a) have defined principles to guide parents as to how they should train children to perform acts of worship. These include taking a gradual approach, not being forceful, and focusing on wajibaat.
Congregational Prayer (Salatul Jamā‘ah)
– It is allowed for non-baligh children to lead other non-baligh children as a means of learning.
– It is not allowed for a non-baligh child to lead adults in salah.
– If a discerning child follows a baligh male who meets the conditions for leading the jamā‘ah prayer, the jama’ah is established and correct [even if there are no other adults present].
– When a discerning child is the only connection point for some individuals to the jamā‘ah, their connection is established unless they become aware of that child’s salah being invalid.