In the last Parent’s Corner, we explained some of the guidelines the Ahlul Bayt (a) have provided us for teaching our children about Salah in a gradual manner. Here is a summary of what was presented:
– Until the age of four, teach your child the fundamentals of the religion
– At five and six, teach your child the basics of Salah. He/she can, occasionally, pray next to you in order to create an attachment to Salah.
– At the age of seven, ask your child to wash his/her face and hands to the wrists and to then pray.
– From the age of nine, a boy should be trained in how to offer a correct prayer, and should be expected to pray regularly. For a girl, such instruction should take place prior to nine.
– In the early teenage years, children should learn how to perfect their prayers. Parents should answer questions that their children have about Salah in a simple but logical manner.
– Youth in the later teenage years ought to obtain a deeper and more precise understanding of the philosophy, effects, and rules of Salah.
The goal of this article is to provide some more guidelines to parents for performing their God-given duty of teaching Salah to their children.
Practical Demonstration
Choose the best times to talk about Salah to your children, when they are physically, psychologically, and emotionally ready to learn. Then, the best way of teaching Salah is to demonstrate it practically along with love and kindness, without being forceful and rough. According to a number of traditions, the Ahlul Bayt (a) used to show others how to pray through practical demonstration.
Observation and Checking Up
Parents should be generally aware of when and how their children are saying their prayers, and they should offer suggestions for improvement when appropriate. The Ahlul Bayt (a) would observe the way others would pray and offer them suggestions. Once, Imam al-Kadhim (a) saw someone not observing Rukoo correctly. He sent someone to him to teach him the correct manner of holding his neck and stretching his back. (Al-Kafi, v. 3 p. 321). Take care to offer critical suggestions in a friendly manner with the intention of helping your child, not for the sake of finding faults with them. Being overly critical can be harmful to a child’s self-confidence and incite rebelliousness towards Salah.
Encouragement and Appreciation
Let your children know that you appreciate that they perform their prayers in a regular and correct manner. From time to time, give them appropriate gifts for doing so. This type of appreciation can help overcome times that you find your children show less interest and desire in offering their Salah.
Ensure that gifts you give are just means of sparking motivation and don’t become the purpose for why they offer their prayers. Explain to your children that you are rewarding them for performing their responsibility towards Allah. As they grow older, this type of external encouragement will help in developing strong internal motivation and desire for prayer as a means of performing their responsibility.
Be a Good Example
The best way of teaching is to practically be an example for others. Parents should carefully observe their own commitment to and performance of Salah, and regularly strive to put into practice what they would like their children to learn. They should give special importance to praying in Jama’ah and in the Masjid. Imam as-Sadiq (a) said, “Invite people without using your tongue. Let them see from you careful observance of your duty towards Allah, sincere efforts in worshiping Him, your offering the Salah, and acts of goodness. That itself is a means of invitation” (Al-Kafi, v. 2 p. 78). Children should regularly witness that the most beautiful and enjoyable moments of the day are when their parents are readying themselves for Salah, so that they themselves feel excited about Salah.
Teach…and Repeat
Children learn concepts such as math and spelling through repetition. The rules and etiquette of Salah are no exception. Children need regular reminders about the importance of Salah as well as some of the rules of Salah, such as correct pronunciation of tricky letters, and keeping the body still while reciting the adhkaar.
Minimize External Influences that Distract from Salah
We human beings are created in a way that we yearn for proximity to Allah, and Salah is a sure vehicle for being able to attain that proximity. Therefore, desire for Salah should be part of a normal, healthy human soul. However, friends, relatives, TV / online shows, and video games can capture your children’s heart and direct them away from Salah and the remembrance of Allah. It’s important that your children’s friends have a positive outlook on Salah and that they should encourage each other to offer their prayers.
رَبِّ اجْعَلْني مُقيمَ الصَّلاةِ وَ مِنْ ذُرِّيَّتي رَبَّنا وَ تَقَبَّلْ دُعاء
My Lord! Make me a maintainer of the prayer, and my descendants [too]. Our Lord, accept my supplication. (Surah Ibrahim, verse 40)
Source: This article is adapted from the second portion of an article on this topic available at www.hawzah.net.