Allah states in the Qur’an, “O you who have faith! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones…” (At-Tahrim 66:6)
According to tradition, when this verse was revealed, people said, “O Messenger of Allah! How can we protect ourselves and our family?” He said, “Do good, and remind your family of it. So you must train them to obey Allah.” (Da’aaim al-Islam, v. 1 p. 82)
Ensuring that our children spend time in spiritually healthy environments is essential to their religious upbringing. Doing so, however, is not enough to fulfill our responsibility. Taking responsibility for our children’s religious upbringing requires actively working with them to ensure that they know their responsibilities and perform them correctly.
Regarding this responsibility, the famous scholar, Marhum Kashif al-Ghita’, states beautifully,
Every Muslim – rather, every human being, should know that his sons and daughters are Divine trusts that have been entrusted with him. He will be asked about them and taken to account for them. Yes, it is necessary for him to protect their bodies and nourish their growth by spending on them when it comes to their food, drink, and clothing. Butt is similarly obligatory – or rather, more obligatory – to raise their intellects, to nourish their souls, to correct their beliefs, and to satiate their senses with the roots of religion and its primary branches. It is also obligatory to train them to have excellent akhlaaq such as truthfulness, chastity, and trustworthiness, and to train them to have cleanliness, purity, and prayer…It is with such principals and fundamentals that a human being can become a human being. Without them, he is nothing but a donkey or a devil…” (Sual wa Jawab, p. 157)
Shahid Ayatullah Baqir as-Sadr, may Allah have mercy on him, was one of the greatest scholars of the previous century. In an interview, his wife explains how much are Shahid as-Sadr would take to ensure his children understood their religious obligations and performed them correctly:
When his children reached the age of taklif, he would perform Wudhu and lead them in prayers and then he would respectfully correct their mistakes, in accidence with the method that Imam Hasan and Imam Husayn had taken. He would encourage his children to recite Qur’an and Du’a and Ziyarah. He considered praying on time and waking up for Salatul Fajr very important, and used to say that if a person stays up late at night and knows that he will not be able to wake up for the morning prayers, then it is not permissible for him or her to go to sleep. One of our family traditions was that the first year one of our daughters would fast, she would be allowed to choose whatever she wanted to eat for Iftar (as long as it was a reasonable request). And at the end of the month she would be allowed to choose any gift she wanted (for a reasonable sum of money). (1)
Here are a few suggestions for ensuring that we are performing our duties towards our children’s religious upbringing:
– Reflect upon the severity of the duty that the verse and tradition above convey to parents, and with the help of Allah and the wasilah of the Ahlul Bayt (a) embrace this responsibility whole-heartedly.
– Parents can’t teach or train their children without having a solid foundation of knowledge. If you sense any areas of weakness, take part in local classes that teach aqaid (beliefs), fiqh (laws), and akhlaq (ethics), or join with others to organize such classes. In you are not able to find such classes, consider online offerings from trustable sources, or consult with scholars to find appropriate resources for self-study.
– When performing salah at home, let it be a family affair, where all gather together in the same room and pray together, on time.
– In order to make sure that the salah is pronounced correctly, regularly listen to a correct pronunciation of the salah with your children. See the Salat Audio link at the top of https://www.waliulasr.ca for the files that are used for teaching salah pronunciation at school.
– Monitor your child’s salah. Offer encouraging words and perhaps even occasional rewards to your child for performing his / her duties, such as the salah. When you notice mistakes being made, using a gentle approach, correct the mistakes.
– Emphasize on wajibaat (obligatory acts) when a child is baligh. But for recommended actions (mustahabaat), simply offer light encouragement from time to time.
– Regularly converse with your child about what he/she learns and experiences in school subjects, including Islamic Studies, and inspiring stories and ahkaam he/she may hear in class, assembly, or prayer time.
– Ensure that the teachings you convey to your children are not negatively impacted or reversed through unrestricted exposure to TV shows, movies, YouTube channels, or video games that promote contrary messages.
Footnotes:
1- A conversation with the respected wife of the eminent Martyr, Ayatullah Muhammad Baqir as-Sadr
http://www.hawzah.net/fa/Magazine/View/5659/6286/69270/گفت-و-گو-با-همسر-مکرمهی-شهید-بزرگوار-آیةالله-سید-محمدباقر-صدر-(ره